The child identified as the problem is often just a thermometer for the family

I can’t tell you the number of times that a child has been brought in to my office by well intentioned parents being identified as the problem within the family. The scenario is all too familiar where Johnny is brought to counseling for his disruptive behavior and poor grades. No one else in the family has a problem and if it weren’t for Johnny always acting out, there would be no problems. When parents see their child through this lens, change is difficult for the child. In fact, in counseling, we even have a name for this client. They are the identified patient.
In order for real change to occur requires a paradigm shift on the part of the family from an individual problem to a family problem. That’s really what it is when it comes down to it. If the family is viewed as an organism, a problem with any part effects the whole. To that point helping the individual will require everyone doing their part to recognize the changes they can make that will improve the functioning of the whole.